My 17 Truths of Cancer

I awake with a start.  It is still dark though from the birds singing in the distance I know it is almost sunrise.  I did not sleep particularly well and woke several times with disturbing dreams.  My eyes have been open only seconds but there is already much on my mind.  I’m guessing it will be “one of those days”.  This morning I am already thinking about my truths of cancer.

As I have said many times, cancer changes everything.  It changes how your mind works and how you process setbacks and challenges.  I have always been a writer and within days of my breast cancer diagnosis I was keeping both a typed and written journal.  Many of my typed journal entries have over time found their way to this blog. On the other hand my handwritten journal I have, for the most park, kept just for myself. 

There is something about writing by hand that makes the words stick.  It feels more concrete and sometimes ideas strike when there is no computer immediately available.  When these thoughts or feelings strike unexpectedly, I jot them down in a lined paper notebook so no idea or flash of inspiration is ever lost.

One of my earliest notes to myself is titled, “My Truths of Cancer”.  Since my diagnosis, I have filled this list with helpful reminders and insights that I have learned along the way.  Here are a few of my entries.

If You Can Survive Cancer You Can Survive Anything

This is my greatest truth and one I remind myself again and again.  When, during my post cancer life, I am faced with the heartache of setbacks and barriers I remember that I have SURVIVED cancer.  I am a SURVIVOR.  It might not be easy or even pleasant but I can handle whatever else life throws at me.

If You Don’t Use It, You Lose It

This has proven true again and again.  When it comes to your physical health and well being, if you are not taking care to stretch, exercise, and perform activities of daily living you will lose the ability to do so.  After my double mastectomy and again after I broke my hand, I had to retrain my body to perform the most basic of physical tasks.  Without daily work to regain those functions I would have lost those abilities entirely and potentially become permanently disabled.

Eat Well, Stay Hydrated, Get Enough Rest – This Really Matters

After cancer, taking care of myself has become a full time job.  I continue to struggle every day to make sure I am eating  a well balanced diet, drinking enough fluids, and getting enough down time and sleep.  It is almost impossible to work 12 hour day and night shifts and maintain a proper regimen of self care but if I slip even a little I send myself into a health spiral of fatigue and even weight loss.

Identify What Makes You Happy Or Fulfilled And Work For It

After cancer nothing comes easily.  The difficult truth is, if you want something, you will have to work for it and work hard.  Whether you want to gain back your flexibility or strength or ability to perform the activities you used to, each gain is going to be a battle you have to fight.  And so I remind myself to identify the thing worth fighting for.  Those are the things that bring meaning to my life and leave me feeling happy or fulfilled.  For many months I have been “cleaning the closets” of my life and when I identify something that truly brings me joy, I fight like hell for it.

Someday This Will Be In Your Rearview Mirror

Whenever I am buried under the weight of my cancer recovery or the heartache of life’s problems I remind my self that someday this will be a part of my past.  It’s just my way of telling myself, “This too shall pass.”

Know Your Value – REMEMBER YOUR VALUE

This is a hard one.  Since battling cancer I regularly struggle with insecurity, lack of confidence, low self-esteem, and self-doubt.  These are new emotions to me and can at times be almost crippling.  I do my best to remember that yes, I am bruised and battered from my cancer battle, but I remain just as skilled, talented, and valuable as I was before my diagnosis…even if I can’t always see it.

Be Patient

During cancer recovery nothing comes quickly.  Recovery takes the time it takes and I simply have to accept that.

You Didn’t Survive Cancer To Turn Around And Put Your Life In Danger (That Would Be F***ing Crazy)

Being immunocompromised during a pandemic is dangerous and difficult.  As the world moves on from COVID, I am still left having to avoid groups, social distance, and wear N95s.  These protective measures are isolating and get really old.  I am SO OVER IT!  But I remind myself that COVID will kill me and I’ve come way too far to put my life in jeopardy now.

This is the first half of Truths of Cancer and the truths I discovered early on in my cancer journey.

Stay tuned for My 17 Truths of Cancer Part 2.