A young physician's journey of recovery from surviving breast cancer to coping with the traumatic stress of providing front line care during the COVID pandemic
I listen to the gentle waves lapping at the beach. A gentle breeze rustles my hair as I stare out across an emerald ocean. After several weeks of self-neglect I am finally focusing on self care with a visit to the beach. As I gaze across the bright white sand my mind drifts. Today I …
It is early morning. The sun has barely begun to shoot golden rays over the horizon. In the fading darkness I fumble with my keys and lock the front the door behind me. I shoulder the bag carrying my N95 mask and protective googles as I walk down my front path to my car. Another …
I open my eyes and groan. I roll over and groggily swipe off my sleep mask. Mid-afternoon sun streams through my bedroom window. It is still several hours until my critical care night shift starts but I am wide awake. With a sigh I reach for my phone and see two missed calls. One, from …
My eyes are puffy and my head aches. I am starting my night shift in just a few minutes and I am not feeling up to it. Today was a bad day, and I have hit another setback after cancer. I should have known…it was literally only yesterday I was feeling a sense of finally …
“Today was a good day,” I think to myself as I pull into my drive way. It was also a busy day, first as an occupational therapy patient and then as a physician examining patients. As I walk up the paver path to my front door, wearing scrubs and with protective gear looped over my …
The sun is sinking below the horizon as another night shift begins. I have a long 12 hour shift ahead of me but in the peaceful moments, which are few and far between, my mind drifts to the series of events that has led me to this moment in time. I am thinking about moral …
It is a dreary day. The sky is gray and cloudy. It has threatened rain for several hours but the rain hasn’t come. I am taking a rare day off. I am surfing the couch, snacking on home baked cookies, and streaming movies. Though today was meant to be a day without work, I am …
Swoosh, swoosh, swoosh. The sound of the roller is all I’ve heard for two days. My back and shoulders ache from forty-eight hours of house painting. I am over it. I am sore and frustrated and yet still I have completed only a fraction of the work that must be done. I am completing this …
I collapse into bed with exhaustion. This would not be a bad thing if it were 10 o’clock at night but it is 10 o’clock on a Sunday morning and my fatigue is overpowering. I lay on my back. My shoulder and back ache from this morning’s activities. I am struggling to maintain life balance …
I swipe my badge and enter the emergency department. As the door swings inward I am met with the typical scene of ER chaos. Patients line the hallways. Emergency medics speed past pushing an immobilized patient on a stretcher. Nurses rush from one curtained room to the next. I head towards a cluster of physicians …