A young physician's journey of recovery from surviving breast cancer to coping with the traumatic stress of providing front line care during the COVID pandemic
I awake with a start. It is still dark though from the birds singing in the distance I know it is almost sunrise. I did not sleep particularly well and woke several times with disturbing dreams. My eyes have been open only seconds but there is already much on my mind. I’m guessing it will …
It is just minutes after sunrise. My sneakers pound the creaky boardwalk suspended above the protected dune habitat. I hear the waves long before I see them. As I crest the dunes I am met with a peaceful and beautiful view. The white sand of the beach stretches out before me. Golden rays of sun …
“This is an interesting feeling,” I think to myself. My broken hand is floating suspended in a metal box while being gently massaged by warm air and therapy beads. My injured muscles ache after 30 minutes of range of motion exercises. This box therapy is designed to increase the blood flow to my damaged muscles …
It is a rainy Saturday evening. Thunder crashes nearby and heavy rain patters against the window. The constant white noise of the storm is relaxing and I find myself fighting the urge to curl up with a good book and a cup of tea. Instead, these are the last few minutes of calm before the …
I lean back and rub my eyes. It is 2am and while the rest of the world sleeps, I am monitoring the ICU beds at four different hospitals. This time of night I am always fighting back drowsiness. My post cancer body does not like it when routines are disturbed or sleep is lost. At …
I open the car door and am struck with a wall of heat. Within seconds beads of sweat are forming on my forehead and between my shoulder blades. The beads of sweat collect and trace down my cleavage. This is the first summer I have had large breasts. It has been mere months since my …
Read Tears and Unexpected Setbacks Part 1 here. I awake with a start. Like most mornings “Ouch!” is the first word that crosses my mind. The sun is filtering grey early morning light through the bedroom shades. I must have tweaked my broken hand in my sleep. It is already throbbing. It has been more …
Today I am still reeling from my first major setback since completing cancer treatment. It all started on a beautiful summertime Sunday morning. The sky was blue. The clouds were white and still tinged with the pinks and golds of sunrise. I was looking forward to my morning walk. After struggling with several days of …
Read Intimacy and Birth Control After Cancer: Part 1 here. This blog is about recovery. This is how I am finding my way back. Now comes the part that is more uncomfortable to talk about. It started slowly with a question. “What do you like?” he asked one evening after sipping a couple whiskies, perhaps …
Today I am marching more than walking. My walk flew by this morning. Lost in thought, I barely noticed my surroundings. My usual calm contemplations were replaced with unrest. I am thinking about recent developments in the world of women’s health and I am feeling much like a second class citizen. Today I am thinking …