A young physician's journey of recovery from surviving breast cancer to coping with the traumatic stress of providing front line care during the COVID pandemic
I take a deep breath as I stare out across the beautiful blue lake. The water sparkles in the gentle spring sunshine. The breeze gently tussles my hair. The spring scenery is straight out of a postcard but I am nervous. Today will be my first time scuba diving since being diagnosed with breast cancer …
One, two, three, four…I count to myself as I breathe deeply. “Breathing in calmness, breathing out tension,” I tell myself as I fight against the feeling of panic. I steady myself. My anxiety and fear level is a seven and I am mid-traumatic flashback and experiencing what happens when cancer stress triggers memories of past …
It is a cool winter morning. The sky is bright blue and the sun is shining as I do some light house cleaning. The porch door is open and I hear birds chirping outside. I feel at peace. As I straighten some items on the coffee table, my hand accidentally knocks over a small glass …
I step out of the shower and stare in the mirror as I do every night. My eyes are immediately drawn to my mastectomy scars curving under both breasts. They have faded from their initial angry red, to pink, to a light flesh tone that matches the rest of me. My breasts are beautiful, it …
I watch the light slowly fade through my window. The clouds whip past and the palm trees bend against the wind. A major hurricane has just passed and the rain has finally stopped. I watch as neighbors cautiously venture out to assess the damage. In this moment my mind is not on the storm, I …
It is just minutes after sunrise. My sneakers pound the creaky boardwalk suspended above the protected dune habitat. I hear the waves long before I see them. As I crest the dunes I am met with a peaceful and beautiful view. The white sand of the beach stretches out before me. Golden rays of sun …
“This is an interesting feeling,” I think to myself. My broken hand is floating suspended in a metal box while being gently massaged by warm air and therapy beads. My injured muscles ache after 30 minutes of range of motion exercises. This box therapy is designed to increase the blood flow to my damaged muscles …
This evening I sit on the beach watching the waves crash against the shore. My Aussie leans her weight against me. Her ears twitch as she eyes the sandpipers dashing through the waves in front of us. The sun slowly sinks behind me as the sky turns a soft pink. This is the “magical hour” …
Today started peacefully enough, a walk at sunrise, some work in the garden. My mind was quiet as I carefully set up a new solar watering system for the tomato plants. The birds were singing. A light breeze rustled the leaves of the trees. A few butterflies flitted and floated through the yard. I was …
Dear cancer fighter, I think about you often. I wonder if you are out there thinking about me. Life has been hard for you and I and it has been very unfair. While the world turns normally for everyone else, we are fighting for our lives. We are picking up broken pieces. We are struggling …