A young physician's journey of recovery from surviving breast cancer to coping with the traumatic stress of providing front line care during the COVID pandemic
I watch as the tropical fish peacefully glide by. The bright yellows, oranges, and purples of the tropical fish contrast beautifully against the deep blue of the water. For a moment I am in my own world separate from the dozens of children darting around me this Sunday afternoon in the reef exhibit at my …
It is several minutes after sunrise. My sneakers thump on the boardwalk. I hear the waves before I see them. As we hit the sand my dog glances up at me waiting. I take a few moments to stretch. Then, as the rising sun outlines the clouds in gold, I run. It has been a …
I take a deep breath as I stare out across the beautiful blue lake. The water sparkles in the gentle spring sunshine. The breeze gently tussles my hair. The spring scenery is straight out of a postcard but I am nervous. Today will be my first time scuba diving since being diagnosed with breast cancer …
I watch the sun slowly sink behind the horizon. A palm tree is outlined in gold against clouds. The evening air is cool and pleasant so I open a window. Sundown starts Yom Kippur. I understand very little about the traditions of this sacred day but do understand that it is a time for self-reflection, …
I listen to the gentle waves lapping at the beach. A gentle breeze rustles my hair as I stare out across an emerald ocean. After several weeks of self-neglect I am finally focusing on self care with a visit to the beach. As I gaze across the bright white sand my mind drifts. Today I …
My eyes are puffy and my head aches. I am starting my night shift in just a few minutes and I am not feeling up to it. Today was a bad day, and I have hit another setback after cancer. I should have known…it was literally only yesterday I was feeling a sense of finally …
Swoosh, swoosh, swoosh. The sound of the roller is all I’ve heard for two days. My back and shoulders ache from forty-eight hours of house painting. I am over it. I am sore and frustrated and yet still I have completed only a fraction of the work that must be done. I am completing this …
I collapse into bed with exhaustion. This would not be a bad thing if it were 10 o’clock at night but it is 10 o’clock on a Sunday morning and my fatigue is overpowering. I lay on my back. My shoulder and back ache from this morning’s activities. I am struggling to maintain life balance …
Read Tears and Unexpected Setbacks Part 1 here. I awake with a start. Like most mornings “Ouch!” is the first word that crosses my mind. The sun is filtering grey early morning light through the bedroom shades. I must have tweaked my broken hand in my sleep. It is already throbbing. It has been more …
Today I am still reeling from my first major setback since completing cancer treatment. It all started on a beautiful summertime Sunday morning. The sky was blue. The clouds were white and still tinged with the pinks and golds of sunrise. I was looking forward to my morning walk. After struggling with several days of …