A young physician's journey of recovery from surviving breast cancer to coping with the traumatic stress of providing front line care during the COVID pandemic
It is several minutes after sunrise. My sneakers thump on the boardwalk. I hear the waves before I see them. As we hit the sand my dog glances up at me waiting. I take a few moments to stretch. Then, as the rising sun outlines the clouds in gold, I run. It has been a …
I drag myself through the day. I am hungry but too fatigued to prepare a meal. I am thirsty but haven’t maintained adequate hydration. I want to decorate for the holidays, bake cookies, and watch happy holiday movies like “normal” people do but I can not manage to drag myself off the couch. Days later …
We’ve all done it. Looked at someone else and wished silently that we had what they have. Maybe it’s a house in a prestigious neighborhood. Perhaps a flashy car. Maybe a boat or an exciting vacation or a way living only possible with a hefty price tag. Or maybe it’s beauty, health, or freedom. Whatever …
“Today was a good day,” I think to myself as I pull into my drive way. It was also a busy day, first as an occupational therapy patient and then as a physician examining patients. As I walk up the paver path to my front door, wearing scrubs and with protective gear looped over my …
The sun is sinking below the horizon as another night shift begins. I have a long 12 hour shift ahead of me but in the peaceful moments, which are few and far between, my mind drifts to the series of events that has led me to this moment in time. I am thinking about moral …
I collapse into bed with exhaustion. This would not be a bad thing if it were 10 o’clock at night but it is 10 o’clock on a Sunday morning and my fatigue is overpowering. I lay on my back. My shoulder and back ache from this morning’s activities. I am struggling to maintain life balance …
I swipe my badge and enter the emergency department. As the door swings inward I am met with the typical scene of ER chaos. Patients line the hallways. Emergency medics speed past pushing an immobilized patient on a stretcher. Nurses rush from one curtained room to the next. I head towards a cluster of physicians …
It is just minutes after sunrise. My sneakers pound the creaky boardwalk suspended above the protected dune habitat. I hear the waves long before I see them. As I crest the dunes I am met with a peaceful and beautiful view. The white sand of the beach stretches out before me. Golden rays of sun …
I lean back and rub my eyes. It is 2am and while the rest of the world sleeps, I am monitoring the ICU beds at four different hospitals. This time of night I am always fighting back drowsiness. My post cancer body does not like it when routines are disturbed or sleep is lost. At …